Author Archives: David Pashley

Just come back from the cinema and have to say I’m a little
disappointed. I know everyone seemed to love this film, but really I
felt let down. Johnny Depp was amusing. Liz Smith as Grandma Georgina
was fantastic and the film was genuinely funny for the most part. But
the film just wasn’t right.

• Willy Wonka was just plain weird at points. Not quirky, not
  eccentric, but outright weird. The inability to say parents was
  annoying and he wasn’t quite right. He should have been more furious at
  Augustus for drinking the chocolate instead of a bit concerned. He
  should have been more concerned with warning the children about the
  results caused by their behaviour. Instead, at one point he almost
  seemed sadistic, enjoying Veruca Salt’s fate.
• Talking of Veruca, for a brat, she wasn’t nearly brattish enough. I
  want someone more like a young Bonnie Langford.
• Mike Teavee was obsessed with computer games rather than TV.
• The whole back story bothered me. There was no need to include it and
  there certainly was no need to change the ending. It failed to leave
  room for the sequel.
• The whole spy aspect of the book was removed for no good reason. I
  want my ever-lasting gobstoppers, dammit.
• The style of the outside world was too dark. I know it is Tim
  Burton’s style, but it isn’t Roald Dahl’s.
• The look of the film was too much Burton and not enough like Blake’s
  illustrations.
• The music wasn’t as good as I’d come to except from Danny Elfman.
  The Oompa Lumppas’ songs just didn’t seem right. The incidental music
  was typically Elfman/Burton, but that just made it sound like
  Batman/Edward Scissorhands.
• Charlie’s comments about their first song being a touch rehearsed
  wasn’t expanded as well as it could have been. It was only mentioned
  after Augustus’ song.
• There was too much american slang in the film. Everything was candy,
  not sweets. Charlie had dirty pants. Vacation rather than holiday.
• The perspective room at the beginning of the film was ruined by some
  really bad editting. It could have worked so much better if they had
  shown them walking up the the small door, rather than cutting to them at
  it already.
• Wonka described everything in the garden as eatable, not edible.

On the plus side, having Deep Roy playing every oompa-lumppa was
genius.

I think basically, I prefer Gene Wilder. Sorry guys; close, but no
cigar.

And I seem to have nearly burnt my kitchen down grilling sausages
:S